Confucius, Confucion

As I paraphrased The Golden Rule, I am supposed to treat others the way I'd like to be treated.  I paraphrased because I just supposed that it was first spoken in Chinese, so as loose translations go, I chose not to go verbatim on this one.  They tried that with the Bible, after all, and we all know how that worked out.

It seems like Confucius was referring to a dirt-simple guideline for how to be nice.  If you like people being punctual, you arrive on time.  If you like being served, you serve.  If you like receiving, you give.

If you like getting blow jobs in a public places... wait, wut?

The Golden Rule is so simple, I often believe it was made for simpletons.

It is far too simple to assume that everyone likes what I like.  How does the Golden Rule apply to practitioners of S&M?  Or people who love being miserable?

It is flawed, and I have known it forever, but I must confess that I have used it as my favorite sweeping excuse for my own bad behavior.

Under the noble pretext of "treating everyone as my peer" I have allowed young impressionable children to watch the films I like to watch.  I am guilty of being extremely conservative when it comes to explanations because I expect others to "get it" once I got it.  I don't mind loud music when I am sleeping, and neither should you.  I squeeze my toothpaste tube from the end, so I find your random squeezing inexcusable.  A cause for eviction.

I am fine commuting in the heat of midday, so I refuse to think about your personal discomfort.  If I cannot treat you the way I like to be treated, I will chase you off.  Which works out a lot, because I mostly like to be left alone.

Thanks Confucius.  I am alone, and you are an idiot.

Or is he?

Confucius say:  Sport a white beard and robes, and people will heed your advice.

As I wiki him out, I read that the "official" translation was phrased in the negative:  "Do NOT do unto others what you do NOT want done to yourself."

Oh, well that's different.

My source of Confucion was in the way I paraphrased his words into a positive phrasing.  As it turns out, it doesn't work that way.  The Golden Rule was not about how to act, but how NOT to act.  Not exactly a thought-process that syncs well with this era's preference for proactivity and positivity.  Joe Vitale would lose his mind.

So let me get this straight:  I don't like getting flowers, so I don't give flowers.  I don't like ice cream, so that kid can cry all she wants, she ain't getting a scoop.

I don't like to be punched in the face, so I am not gonna punch him in the face.  I repeat, I will NOT punch him in his ugly fat smug smirking face.

Meanwhile, all I can think about is punching him in the face.

Yeah, Confucius is dead, and I never met him personally.  And I'm not Chinese.  So why should I pattern my life and my choices after something he purportedly said?

I am the idiot.